36! Yep that’s right! But what I love most about age is that it really is what you make of it.
When I turned 30 I was so happy. My 30s have been much better than my 20s. But then around 34 and getting worse in 35 I truly realized that I too would get old. Started getting deeper wrinkles and my friends and I don’t recover as fast from late nights. More places hurt as injuries seem to be things we just keep accumulating. But you know what? I feel good! I am living fully!
For awhile there I was saying “I’m old” a lot. I think it was because it was occurring to me that I was not what I used to be. But now days if I say it, it is usually as something I am proud of! Basically, “I’m too old for this sh**!” And that often is a good thing. But I am also young and that is nice to remember!
As I write this I sit with a (still) swollen ankle from being on thrown off the “more adventure” boat (5 times) whitewater rafting and enjoying a glass of wine in a beautiful spot thinking how glad I am I can travel and enjoy it alone.
For more rafting pics click on the photo
Anyway, I wanted to take a minute and raise a toast to my 35th year. It was a eventful one. From one of the deepest seasons of depression followed by the greatest sense of liberation that possibly I have ever felt. This is the year I learned to let go. From the minute I decided to take time out and travel Southeast Asia by myself I felt the beginning of letting go. But when I was there I let go of shame. Like it finally occurred to me that there isn’t anything wrong with me. I don’t know where that shame came from or why but it has been an oppressive shadow all my life. But there I was in a strange land and it was impossible to get it all right, so I let go of getting it right. I was all alone and so I couldn’t actually hide in someone else so I let go of hiding. I kept letting go until one day I realized my depression was gone, my head was high and I wasn’t under the shadow of shame any more. I am grateful for the opportunity to let go this year! Thank you to that power greater than .
Thank you for indulging me in a little birthday reflection since I am entirely alone in this tiny tiny little town. Tomorrow I will post my latest in travel…getting to Ecuador!
Chris Harbur said I should include a video with each post. So here is a cousin of the raccoon showing us who is boss of la playa!
And here is a monkey mid jump!