Ain’t nothing but a number! **Birthday Special**

36!  Yep that’s right!  But what I love most about age is that it really is what you make of it.

When I turned 30 I was so happy. My 30s have been much better than my 20s. But then around 34 and getting worse in 35 I truly realized that I too would get old. Started getting deeper wrinkles and my friends and I don’t recover as fast from late nights. More places hurt as injuries seem to be things we just keep accumulating. But you know what?  I feel good!  I am living fully!

For awhile there I was saying “I’m old” a lot. I think it was because it was occurring to me that I was not what I used to be. But now days if I say it, it is usually as something I am proud of!  Basically, “I’m too old for this sh**!”  And that often is a good thing.  But I am also young and that is nice to remember!

As I write this I sit with a (still) swollen ankle from being on thrown off the “more adventure” boat (5 times) whitewater rafting and enjoying a glass of wine in a beautiful spot thinking how glad I am I can travel and enjoy it alone.

For more rafting pics click on the photo

Anyway, I wanted to take a minute and raise a toast to my 35th year.  It was a eventful one.  From one of the deepest seasons of depression followed by the greatest sense of liberation that possibly I have ever felt.  This is the year I learned to let go.  From the minute I decided to take time out and travel Southeast Asia by myself I felt the beginning of  letting go.  But when I was there I let go of shame.  Like it finally occurred to me that there isn’t anything wrong with me.  I don’t know where that shame came from or why but it has been an oppressive shadow all my life.  But there I was in a strange land and it was impossible to get it all right, so I let go of getting it right.  I was all alone and so I couldn’t actually hide in someone else so I let go of hiding.  I kept letting go until one day I realized my depression was gone, my head was high and I wasn’t under the shadow of shame any more.  I am grateful for the opportunity to let go this year!  Thank you to that power greater than .

Thank you for indulging me in a little birthday reflection since I am entirely alone in this tiny tiny little town.  Tomorrow I will post my latest in travel…getting to Ecuador!

Chris Harbur said I should include a video with each post.  So here is a cousin of the raccoon showing us who is boss of la playa!

And here is a monkey mid jump!

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One response to “Ain’t nothing but a number! **Birthday Special**

  1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY APRIL!! As you went about your day, just know there are alot of people thinking about you here. 36, where has the time gone. I’ve known you from the very beginning and look how much you have done! We are very proud of you, we don’t get to see each other very often but we go back to friends with you mom and dad before either of us had kids. Sounds like you had a good day, so CHEERS!! and take care. Looking forward to reading your blog,
    Pat and Jim

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